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Graduation DayGraduation Day:

They told us we would be alright...

We had fought with honour and won our titles.

We had overcome trials together -

Watching dozens of our siblings fall in the line of duty.

For this they had promised us, a wondrous welcome;

A bountiful world of adventure, with a myriad of paths.

All this, they said, awaited us in the stone cities.

Large metropolises, where the working folk resided...

There were hundreds of us, who made that journey.

Walking miles across the scorching desert,

Clinging to a hope of the fortunes beyond.

Yet what awaited us was not a promised land -

Nor was it a life based on the merit we had earned.
I wish...I wish I was a monster
So I could be kind
And break the stereotypes.

I wish I was colored
So I could respect people
And break the stereotypes.

I wish I was a man
So I could be kind to women
And break the stereotypes.

I wish I had male friends
So we could all be..
Just friends
And break the stereotypes.

I wish I had autism
So I could prove that autism,
Does NOT mean "dumb".
And I could break the stereotypes.

I wish I could change the world.
But sometimes, you can't break a stereotype.

Only stereotypes, can break you.
Lingerhow can i move forward,
when the fingerprints of my insecurities
are still lingering within my chest,
pressing against my ribs like piano keys?
i am just waiting, for the day,
when the saddest parts of me
are overcome with songs of serenity.
Pretty Blue PillsPretty blue pills,
shiny in my palm,
the ticket to my peace,
to my eternal calm.

They're so perfectly round,
and soon they'll be in me.
The closest to perfect
that I'll ever be.

They go down so smooth.
Five, ten, fifteen and twenty.
Soon I'll be gone.
Twenty-five and Thirty.

That should be enough,
but I'll play it safe.
Thirty-five and forty.
Now I have no more to take.

The bottle is empty,
as empty as I feel.
None of this is happening,
too good to be real.

But soon I start to drift
into a dark unknown fog.
Somewhere quite distantly.
I hear a muffled sob.

But I blow it off as fake.
Nobody could possibly care.
I doubt anyone's noticed
th
You don't just die.Do you understand?
The blade against your wrist
Doesn't just slice your skin.
It cuts through others
Hearts
Souls
And sanity.

Do you understand?
You don't just kill yourself.
You kill everyone.
Everyone dies
Everyone cries
Everyone suffers
From YOUR goodbyes.

Do you understand?
You don't just die.
You take everyone down
With you.
PhantomWhen life
or fate
or whatever it is
that puts things together
and takes them apart...
when It
amputated you,
it left me
with a phantom
limb
and you are still attached
to my body
when I dance
and make love
alone
ten ways this breakup isn't meant for the movies1.
you go out for twelve eggs and come back
with half a dozen and a new girlfriend.
you hold the eggs out to me like
six dead birds is enough of a peace offering.

2.
i push the eggs out of your hand and stay
with my hand over your heart as i watch them
fall. if they do not hit the ground, this is all a dream.

3.
the eggs smash on the tile and splatter
on the cherry wood cabinets, newly installed
that cost me two paychecks.

3.
the egg whites hit your leather shoes that
you’ve worn for two months straight
because you think they make you look more sophisticated.

3.
the egg whites hit the fridge halfway up, barely touching
the moose mag
Dear friend,You have to understand, dear
The reason to why I run.
I run away from reality
From the lungs that cannot
Take anymore smoke
From the heart that threatens to
Stop...
I run away because 
I'm a coward
Because I'm afraid of life
Afraid to care or love.
I'm afraid that every time
I'm glad it blows up in my face
And that every time I smile
I shed a million more tears.
That's why I run, dear 
You have to understand.
I was destined to be a fighter but
I don't want to fight anymore.
I was destined to be a warrior
But how am I supposed to win when
The war I fight is against life itself?
I know that I  always blow everything up but-
I keep stepping on mines, dear...
                          ...I keep stepping on mines...
ellipsisshe goes to sleep
clawing at her chest with pinpoint accuracy
for an emptiness she can’t describe,
but hates all the same. tomorrow

she will write a letter: “dear boy,
i always wanted to be somebody’s
flowery poem, but the verses carved in my arms
are riddled with ugly clichés. & you are why

i don’t sleep through the night. if
we were a language, i was the
subordinating conjunction, you were

the punctuation.

i remember you in staccato
conclusions, solemn absences
of goodbye”
brain squealsI beat depressions in the earth
for my brain squeals and waves
that burst in my wet ears
until something makes me drown.
I will. (again) V.

Virginia,

put rocks in pockets
and walk right in --
I'll drink your overcoat
until your throat weeps
and your soaked hair
weighs you down.

I promise.

with love,
Ouse.

P.S.
brain squeals are from cold sweats
sleep well.
TearsI am not afraid to cry.

I am not afraid for you to see the tears

My tears.

Don’t tell me I have no heart.

Don’t tell me I have no soul.

For without them I could not cry.

You may not see my tears but they are there.

I have learned to let myself cry for the things I’ve loved,

For the things I’ve lost.

They are silent tears, but they are mine.

So let me cry.

Let me show you I have a heart.

Let the things that touch my heart be shown through my tears.

I am not afraid to cry.
I am notI’m not your little boy.
You’re not my little girl.
I’m just someone you met,
And wants to change the world
I’m not the prince in your dreams
I don’t have smarts or might
I’m just the one that screams
And cries to sleep at night
I’m not who you want me to be.
I will never be what you are.
I’m myself, I am free.
I’m not ashamed of my scars
I’m not that weak
You’re not that strong
You still have company
But I’m still alone
So I speak
Though this poem.
It’s not a pretty love song
I’m just saying what pains me, explaining what’s going on.
Because I am not perfect,
I’m not retarded,
I’m just like you,
Broken Hearted
Never forget,
There is always a reason to be
And I won’t regret
I’m always happy to be me.
Second ShadowThe hand on your shoulder
The whispers in your mind
The words on your tongue
The voice in your throat
And the feelings in your soul

To drive to madness
To seduce the insane
To draw the blood
And dull the senses
To plague the memories
Of damage done
To fake safe haven
As the character changes

Light the anger and fuel the rage
Another mind to feed
A second shadow
To take you into eternity
Remnants
Hold on to my sanity every single day
I’m not gonna fall.
Those hungry, greedy holes you left
They start calling.

Just like a cold-blooded murderer
You use every heart you can find
When will you ever be satisfied?

You destroy everything you build
and tear everyone you love
Just to die and start over again.
Replay, replay, replay...
Until you grow weaker, and weaker.

You never destroyed me.
I destroyed myself to forget you.
I die every day in an endless cycle,
The rotating remnants of revolting hearts.

Just like water, I choke and swallow.
I mirror your mind, your thoughts, and your desire
And just like Narcissus, you fall deeper and
combatantI.
it strikes me
that this woman
could be a palace.

I marvel at
the opulent dome of
her brow, her arch
expression—

skin like a courtyard of
ivory tiles,
a thousand intersecting
golden lines about her
head and neck.

she beams from atop her
sunlit tower,
beatific and beautiful,

spreads her arms like
open doors,
invites you to be one of

the many
who have wandered her
lavish halls.

II.
I’ve often thought
of myself
as a castle:

all rough-hewn stone
and turrets,
a temper like molten
tar.

my head is crowned
with
embattled parapets,

weapons readied
at the crenels.

I look out from my
guerites, my brattices,
eyes like arrow-slits
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More from ~EmptyHeartt

Flirt All You Want...You talk
She talks

You guys have a blast.

Look behind you.
It's me.
In the shadows.

I see you talking to her.
I see you laughing.
I see you.

But it turns out that you don't see me.
You even do it when I'm there.

Laugh with her.
Smile with her.
Joke around with her.

What about me?
Guess I'm just a doll.

Just something to be made fun of.

Whatever.
It's not like you actually cared.

You guys can talk.
Flirt.

I'll just sit here and listen in to both of your laughter.
Sitting here hearing the sound of ripping.
While you two laugh and have fun.

Who's the girl, you ask?

Oh, no one, really.

Just my best friend, that's all.
Fading AwayMy words
I can't express

Why are you different?
Why are you so different from the other types of people?

I know...
Unique is a good trait
But

That's not it.

We never talk
Not a single word
We act like we're not there

What happened to the old us?
The old us that used to laugh
Care for each other
And to be there for each other?

Now we have nothing.

We're fading
Fading so much
We can't do anything now

It's like we're strangers
Strangers to each other and what we do
Sometimes I wonder what happened to us
To you
To me

But most of all
What happened to the past?
The love
Laughter

Now it's depression
Cutting
And suicidal
Complain To MeCrying
Moaning
Groaning
Complaining

When can you open your eyes
When can you see that you have an amazing life.

Compared to mine.

Sometimes there are rough turns
Sharper knives

Open your eyes.
See that you have a great life.
A good reputation.

No need to complain about it.
But yes
We all want attention
We all want people to see who we are.

But there isn't a need to complain
And whine.

Sometimes, I wish I had your life.

So why do you always complain?
AbandonedLeft alone
Laughed at
Prodded
Toyed around with

All those things you did
Can you see that I'm hurting inside?

I dedicate this poem
I dedicate it to the people who have hurt me.

The ones who used me
Only when I was in a 'good mood'
You tease me with my pains

What are friends?
I don't know anymore.

All I know is that friends hurt you
They injure you in every way possible.

They stab you in your back
And bring you down.

They're the ones that ignore you when you're down
Ignore you when you cut
Ignore your cries for help
Your blood gushes from your wounds

But they don't see you.

They don't see you at all.
How Does It Feel?You don't know at all,
How this feels

It's the blinding pain,
The breath taking agony,
The hurt inside of me...

I'm always hurting...
The question is,
Will I live?

But the answer...
It depends on how you act
What you do

Will I live?

The pain...
It's a tugging at the heart
The pulling the flesh

Ripping
Tearing
Shredding

The chilling feeling
Down my heart
Like lightning.

I always wonder, my dear,
How you're feeling
Do you care?
Like you cared for me before...

I still remember the past
Oh,
How wonderful it was
We had no worries
It was...

Amazing...

But sadly...
Things changed
Over the days
Weeks
Months
Slowly.
My One And OnlyI can't eat
I can't think
I can't focus

I can't do anything with you on my mind...
You're all I think about.
You have my heart.
Where are you...?

I miss you.
I really do.
If I did anything wrong...
Then I'm sorry.

But I miss you

You're all I think about
You're all I dream about

It's you that's always on my mind
No one else...

I hope you know that.

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Poetry is what We Do Here

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August 3, 2012
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Trust...

:iconemptyheartt:

I can't stand it anymore
The laughing
The pointing

Why me?
What have I done to you?
I want someone to look at me

And actually ask if I'm okay.
I can't stand the way people look over me

Just because I say,
"I'm just tired"

I am tired.
Tired of everything that's been thrown my way.

Can't there be someone out there who understands?

I hate the fact that I'm just a friend for benefit.
Whenever I try to tell you something serious
You just laugh at me.

You just laugh at me.
Laugh.

I can't stand it.
Is there really no one out there to trust anymore...?
:iconemptyheartt:
Maybe there's someone out there... Maybe.

But for now... I have to deal with the pain. And the laughter of the people who don't believe me when I say I'm in pain...


-----------
Just a rant, and nothing more.
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:iconravensxgirl:
Mood: Sympathy ~RavensXGirl Aug 16, 2012  Student General Artist
Thats exactly what happens to me everyday! :( I hope it gets better <3
Reply
:iconds-lily:
Mood: Miserable ~Ds-Lily Aug 4, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Same feeling , hope it gets better :/
Reply
:iconemptyheartt:
~EmptyHeartt Aug 4, 2012
I hope it gets better for you too :heart: c:
Reply
:iconrengetsu:
Mood: Grouchy ~Rengetsu Aug 3, 2012
Really captures emotion, the kind that we can really understand. Words from the heart.

Everyone might relate to this other Devientation posted in literature as well (is it alright to link this here EmptyHeartt??) [link]

Don't blame them too heavily(your friends), they just couldn't understand. It isn't simple.. it's common but it's so unknown - so misunderstood.

Could you even say that it is logical? (predictable? following clear rules?)

But about your friends again..
you never know..
just how much they may care, if they really could understand. Even a glimpse.

"Listen I..
I feel terrible.
I always do. (well not really always but..)
It's complicated, and depressing hah. I know..
But i'm sick of you laughing.. lol because that's just it. I'm not tired.
.
.
.
Reply
:iconemptyheartt:
~EmptyHeartt Aug 4, 2012
I love that poem. c: I favorited from my other account, and that's where I got most of my inspiration from, I guess haha.

I guess I shouldn't blame them completely since I don't explain much to them xD
Reply
:iconsnowxd:
~snowXD Aug 3, 2012  Student General Artist
I constantly feel like this :/ Your not alone. If you need to talk, im here for you. I wont laugh because i know what it feels like.
Reply
:iconemptyheartt:
~EmptyHeartt Aug 4, 2012
Thanks it means a lot c:
Reply
:iconkckiller:
~KCKiller Aug 3, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
I can completely relate to you right now... :/
Reply
:iconemptyheartt:
~EmptyHeartt Aug 3, 2012
Aw D:
I hope it gets better though
Reply
:iconkckiller:
Mood: Sympathy ~KCKiller Aug 3, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
I hope it gets better too, it just seems like none of my friends actually try to understand what is going on. you know? I hope it gets better for you as well.
Reply
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